I'm so fucking excited for tomorrow. Two of my very favorite bands, same fucking show. Fucking fuck fuuuuuuck. I never thought I'd get to see Screeching live. Even though it's sans Jughead and there's all that controversy... I mean, it kind of sucks a little bit of the fun out, but not really. And I guess I'll forgive Skeebs for doing that terrible duet. I guess. Just got to keep my liver safe so I don't miss anything.

Also, something else really cool is going on, but I can't say what - just in case. awesomeawesomeawesome

get outta my way

When I was a kid and I got to go stay at my Dad's house (I lived with my Grandparents until I was 11), I would stay up all night watching horror movies because he had cable (Grandparents lived in a rural area that couldn't get cable at that time). There's 2 movies I'm trying to remember, maybe one of you can help me (JACKIE). I recently figured out what another one was... Let's see if you can guess: Giant squirrel dropping giant acorns. That's just a bonus.

Movie #1: Family is on a farm. Everything goes to shit. A mother-like character goes crazy, wielding a knife so they lock her in a room. Chickens peck a little girl's legs up, and then animals heads start falling off and bugs pour out. The locked up woman turns into something gooey, or something like that. I'm actually not positive this is a movie. I've been trying to figure it out for a long time, and there's a possibility it was a nightmare.

Movie #2: Something about 2 women and a mirror. I think one of the women were evil and came out of the mirror. I think the mirror was one of those oval free-standing ones.

We've been here for a year now. I'm pretty sure we got here Oct. 1st. If not, close enough, 'cause it was definitely sometime in October. I think. ETA: Oct. 5th, actually.

My Halloween costume is going to be fucking awesome. I'm commissioning my Grandma to sew the dress for me. We're going to this gallery party... and CLIVE BARKER will be there!!!

October is awesome all around, it's like a big bang before I go into hiding for the winter. There's the "Screeching Weasel"/Alk3/Pegboy show, then Lawrence Arms where I finally get to meet Lintbrain (and hopefully score one of those anniversary records), and then Halloween. We're also bowling in a mini-league this month, and having another girl party this Sunday.

Thanks for puking up the wet food that you begged for. Awesome. All over my floor.

<3,
Ash

OH WEEEEEE OHHHHHHHH

is this a chat room?

Maybe Dave was right about me needing to wash my hair. I think I miscalculated how long it's been.

I make the best ramen ever.

Today I am deep cleaning my apartment. Too bad I feel sick from consuming too much alcohol and Tabasco. Kind of hard to conjure up motivation when your stomach is burning.

Friday night was my friend's birthday, and we went to Delilah's. It was pretty fun... I kept playing Somery on the juke box, because it was the only thing in there that I really liked (aside from Walk Among Us & The First Four Years). I was so wasted, I was wasted. haha

Hopefully I can hide out at home for a while without being obligated to go out and party. Having friends is hard on my liver.

Last night I had a dream about stabbing squirrels... even in my dream I was really upset about it. An image of guts poking out of fur keeps popping into my head and it makes me want to cry. :(

- went to work
- just about finished my painting
- practiced my bass for a really long time, resulting in a blister
- spent about 45 minutes on my wiifit

Now I will drink beers, eat food, smoke weed, and watch a movie.

Got a car yesterday, going to Six Flags/Great America with friends today. We have free parking, free admission, and free lunch passes. Awesome.

Right when I got into town, I got stuck in traffic and noticed that the car was making a very bad knocking noise and "bumping" at low speeds. I was freaked thinking I wouldn't make it home. I didn't have a flat. The next day we took it in and they told us it was shit, unsafe, and not worth fixing. When Dave told me that, I laughed. I still think it's funny. He didn't even try to charge us for looking at it. I think I'm going to make that guy my personal mechanic.

So anyway, the car is dead. We aren't really pissed or upset about it. It's not that much of an inconvenience because I can easily bike to work for now and he walks. Everything we need to survive is near. We feel like we got our money out of it for the most part.

As much as I know Jeff Ott would be proud of our household for not having a car... yeah. The dilemma is this: We've gone through beaters. 4 in 7 years. We kinda feel it's time to have a newer, more reliable vehicle even though we don't generally drive very often or far. We're looking at new cars, and newer used cars. If we get a new car, it will be something like the Nissan Versa (sedan), because they are cheap, but supposedly decent quality and they are good with gas mileage and all that. Also interested in a Toyota since they are supposedly the most reliable. I wish I could get something super eco-friendly, but I know I won't find something that is in the range of what I'm willing to spend. I hate to spend over 10K on a car. I'd rather save that for something more important than a car. And payments... yuck! And full-coverage insurance... blech!

Found these things in a box.

My backpack:

Pretty generic with the patches, huh? That Fifteen patch is coming off there and going onto something else, though. Did you notice the Green Day patch?

What was in my backpack everyday:


Now if only I still had my blue "idiot" hoodie to show you... You can see it in the 1997 MHS yearbook, pretty sure.

Whoever invented 99 Bananas is pretty cool.

...but all I want to say is that I love Agony & Irony and I feel so bad for hating it at first that I could cry. It's like making up with an old boyfriend. :P

Actually - I did cry, but I was half crazy at the time. Maybe I should write an apology.

Seriously, "I Found Away" makes me dance involuntarily. How could I not like this?

I installed a stereo in the car. All Dave did was attach a few wires as I instructed him. I also built the kit so it's not just floating around. Damn proud, let me tell you! New stereo and kit altogether was $100, and took me about 2-3 hours. If I had gotten it done professionally it would have been well over $200.

I also went to the library and got a few audiobooks:

My Life - Bill Clinton
A Wolf at the Table - Augusten Burroughs
Perfect Nightmare - John Saul
and some Learn French While You Drive thing

Hopefully, that and my cd's will make this grueling trip I'm about to embark upon more endurable, if not pleasurable.

I also finished cleaning the apartment and bought some Dave groceries.

I really don't want to go. Actually, I really don't want to go for as long as I am, but I have to, and it's worth it. I'm having a lot of anxiety and dread, but surprisingly less than when I fly.

Time to make dinner...

It gets worse every month it seems. I'm crying over the 2 freed journalists, I was crying for a couple days over my friend not calling me back - been really surly the last few days, too.

It's kind of funny, but it sucks balls.

Furniture shopping is frustrating. We're about to get a sectional couch or a sofa & loveseat combo. I don't want to buy crap quality. I'm looking at some stuff by Rowe, because I really like some of the styles, but they have mixed reviews on quality and wear.

I like these two, but probably in different upholstery:





ANY RECS?

There was a 60's or 70's green floral set at Goodwill, but Dave wouldn't let me have it.

This coming birthday of mine, I will be 26. The first night my friend Rio & I ever hung out was my 16th birthday, which makes this year our 10th anniversary. I have several "best friends," but she's a little different, because she feels more like a sister (and curiously, I've known my other "best friends" for a longer duration). She is younger than me by a few years, we've lived together, everything is forgivable between us, we balance each other out as far as strengths go, and we're both pretty crazy... So I've decided to make her a little anniversary gift. We both paint and like to make shit, but we have different styles, and we've talked about doing a "trade" before - where she makes something with me in mind & vice versa. Tonight I doodled (I don't sketch, I doodle) something out that I think will be super cute and very representative of us. I can't wait to get started on it. I envision liking it so much that I will have to have a print made for me. eeee

Speaking of being excited about painting... that cover art and illustration stuff I'm supposed to do for my uncle? Uhhg. Something about feeling obligated to do something REALLY fucks with my drive. I DO NOT want to work on his stuff and it's really frustrating, because I hate to let people down. I'm worried he wont like it, or he doesn't understand my "style," or he only asked me to do it because he felt obligated (being related, and all). Worst of all, I'm not interested in it at all. I don't like it. It's not fun, because it's not mine.

So, uhm, yeah.

In other, sadder news, I think little Rigsby is on his way out. He is an old man for a rat (over 3 years!), and he's led an interesting life. I will miss his sweet little face, and until he's gone, he will receive lots of bananas, for that is what the Great Ivan declared the holiest of fruits.

We had the car tuned up today. First step in preparation for my solo trek down to see my family. It's a 10 hour drive, but I like road trips and I don't mind going it alone. It's worth it to drive and get the car all fixed up compared to spending $400 on a plane ticket (I paid just $250 last time). Next step: car stereo! 'Cause there's no chance in hell I'm driving all that way with only being able to pick up AM radio stations. Besides that, I don't really think we need to do anything else.

Dave & I had the entire weekend off and pretty much spent most of our time at home. It was awesome. We drank beerz, we smoked weedz, we barbecued, we watched movies in bed, and hung around in our underwear. Time well spent! I also FINALLY started working on the gigantic canvas I've had for 4 years, and Dave showed me how to play one of his new songs.

In all honesty, I'm not really looking forward to my impending trip. I want to see my family - more like I feel as if I NEED to see them, am obligated (which may be contributing to my anxiety and hesitation) - but I hate leaving. I feel like I'm starting to establish a routine, that I'm doing well, that I'm comfortable, and I'm worried that leaving is going to upset my balance which is so difficult to maintain.

Anyway, when I get back from my trip, I'm going to stay disconnected for a week like I mentioned earlier. Hopefully, that will enable me to focus and pick up where I left off. No one knows what the hell I'm talking about, I'm sure!

Yesterday was my day off. I woke up too late. I painted for 4 hours. I read. I practiced my bass. Cleaned and went grocery shopping. Yay productivity!

Becca saw Green Day last night and they played pre-Dookie stuff at her show. That is so unfair. I don't care if you weren't impressed, Becca!!!!! hehe

I've been thinking of "unplugging" myself for a week. I'd still text and use my phone. I feel addicted to the computer sometimes and I think it fucks with the rest of my life.

I need to quit babbling and go get ready for work. I'm not allowed to be late anymore, haha!

I've been slacking on updating about all the fun I had with my cousin.

Saturday: We drove to Chinatown and parked in the awesome $10 lot. I introduced her to boba tea and then we ate. We hopped on the red line and then went to Millennium Park, where we got stoned and then went into the Art Institute of Chicago museum. After exploring the park some more, we walked along the lake until arriving at Navy Pier. We drank $2.75 beers and watched the fireworks. Place was crowded like Disneyland.

Sunday: We went to North Ave. Beach and drank beer half-naked in the sand. This place was crazy. I really did not expect the entire place to be crowded like spring break as far as the eye can see. There was a big boat looking restaurant beer garden thing, heard a live band or few coming from there, and saw a hipster-looking junkie nodding off on the sidewalk.

Monday: Green Day! We chugged a Coors Light in the parking lot, then my cousin shoved some paraphernalia into her underpants and I shoved a shot of Jager into mine - for no reason, because we were turned away from security due to my belt. What the fucking fuck? They let you on a goddamn airplane with a studded belt. Anyway, we were walking back to the car when a bunch of wasted people came spilling out a side door for a smoke break. A guard came along and said "Get back in there! You can't open this door!" So we went in. So much for having tickets. Show was great fun. We drank overpriced beer and I jumped, stamped, and sang a lot. My cousin danced like a hippie and it was hilarious. BJ name-dropped Skiba and Weasel since we're in Chicago, I guess, and there was hardly a response from the crowd for either - even less for Weasel. I thought it was funny. Also interesting - my cousin is from Cabot, AR, and I guess you'll only get the significance if you're one of my GD friends, haha. We met some dudes outside who she really wanted to hang out with, but after taking a hit I got really sick and we lost my id and had to go home. Yup.

And that was pretty much all the highlights. Lowlights were mostly just her picking her feet and twitching on my couch and me being a fuddy duddy.

Wednesday night was Squirtgun/Teen Idols. Oh, and The Leftovers and Green Room Rockers. The singer for The Leftovers is way too freaking annoying, and GRR are reggae revival. Squirtgun was awesome. I sang and danced and Mass dedicated "Burn For You" to me, which made me geek out completely - haha. No one's ever dedicated a song to me before. Teen Idols bored me, and I think I spent most of the time while they were playing outside schmoozing. Also, new chick to replace Heather.

Really weird: Erika's (from Little Type - she died recently) sister (I think) was there talking to people about her and crying.

I don't remember this, but Dave told me about this exchange I had with some random guy:

Me: Have you seen what's going on in Iran?
Guy: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Yeah it is! We need to do something!!
Guy: Yeah, we should...
Me: BUT WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?! WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING!

Yesterday I was very hungover, puking and everything. Today I still feel a little sick. I would like to not do that anymore.

http://mashable.com/2009/06/21/iran-election-timeline/

How is it not fascinating?

I have a lot of big expenditures coming up. Dave is going to San Antonio to visit his family & friends. My cousins are coming in July. I'm going to Arkansas again in August. Also in August is our anniversary, and we're staying in a nice hotel downtown. Can't wait for that!! We're going to party, eat good food, and relax for 2 nights like tourists. I need a new fancy-pants dress to wear with my awesome Coach shoes.

All that busy is giving me anxiety.

Tomorrow, my new friend, her 2 beebeeweebees, and I are going bowling before I go to work. Should be fun. Then this Sunday, Dave & I are supposed to go over to her house for a barbecue party. I don't know if we'll go for sure yet. And, I just got off the phone with her and now I'm invited to party at a gay bar this Friday. Geez. I turned down going out tonight. She's going to wear me out, for sure. Oh, and what about my separation anxiety? Ahhhh!

I can't be pleased.